The following is a journal of my aspirations, inspirations, and progressions from my fitness and life experiences. I hope my story inspires or helps you in some way to get moving and stay moving forward in your life!
10.15.17 – 11.3.17 Getting My Groove Back
Since I moved to Portland, Maine in May, finding the right balance in my daily life for fitness, work, and play has been incredibly difficult.
Going into the move, I was feeling incredibly excited and passionate about the career path I’ve found for myself in the world of Physical Therapy. I was motivated from qualifying for nationals in NPC and anxious to experience a new city/part of Maine.
However, with all the new excitement came a lot of overwhelming instances too. The first, and in hindsight might have been the worst decision was living alone. Yes, it granted me my own personal freedom to have my own space, but it also sent me into a state of uneasiness and loneliness. There would be nights that I cried leaving work because I felt so hopeless and alone having to go back to an empty apartment that made me feel very insecure. Quite often, I found myself so nervous at night that I couldn’t sleep. As a young woman, in an unfamiliar area, and the closest person to me being 2.5 hours away the uneasiness only grew. This left me having to work through a tremendous amount of mental stress on my own just to try and continue to live there.
I lived in a crummy and dodgy part of town where there were plenty of instances of noisy and disruptive neighbors who more than likely had drug and alcohol problems. Not only that, but I also had a trespassing issue where a homeless man was having a manic episode on the property at 3AM. Thus enters Roxanne into my life.
Previously belonging to a family friend who had to move away, Roxanne, a four year old GSD found her new fur-ever home and has made a huge emotional impact on my life.Last year, while living in New York, I would go over to their house for football games and even take Rox for walks and we bonded pretty quickly. However, then I moved to Maine and had no more puppy-time.
After my very eventful stint at living alone, my great-uncle thought of me when they were looking for someone to take Roxanne, and I jumped at the chance to not only have a dog of my own (my family have always had dogs growing up) but to have THIS dog.
Since early July, Roxanne has become my best friend, protector and conversation piece, however life a child, Rox too, brought messes. After just two weeks with me, a stray tail wag knocked a full 40 oz. water bottle straight onto my 2 year old Macbook drowning it. Now, top off me in my living situation, the homeless man, and the overall new adult life struggle with a summer filled with endless bouts of car trouble, and my sanity meter damn near broke from overload. Handling all that while trying to get time in for the gym, the kitchen for proper nutrition, and studying for my personal training exam, I ended up prioritizing work and personal life over my fitness goals for once.
It was by no means easy; and in fact it took me a full 6 months to find a habitual schedule to fit the gym back into my life and to prepare myself mentally for a new training style/regimen this next competition season. I also realized that due to my overwhelming summer, I fell off the face of the social media planet. Here’s why – social media over the years has become my tool as my own coach to hold myself accountable for my training, diet, posing practices and the behind the scenes of my prep life and personal life. The amazing, inspiring and overwhelming support I get from my friends, family and even strangers on social media sends ripple effects through me and fuels my fire for training and improving myself in and out of the gym.
Social media encourages me and let’s me know that just because I don’t have a second person as my coach, people are still watching my progress. It’s a very powerful feeling for me, as someone who never grew up a good or “great” athlete as a kid, but finding a sport like competitive bodybuilding that has an continues to allow me to open doors into a world of athleticism I’d never knew existed for myself. Now, don’t get me wrong, I can be a very competitive person naturally but bodybuilding and the effects of social media has let me funnel my competitive energy into a productive aspect of my life. With all the platforms that I use (Facebook, Instagram, and this blog), my motivation and dedication to compete, write and be myself has never diminished. Taking this break from social media in a way was just taking a break from my coach. There was too much going on in my daily life to be an athlete as well as a full-time professional with some remnants of a social life. Up until this month, this blog has never been utilized fully by me as another coaching tool. I hope this blog, along with the help of friends, family and social media, will allow me to publicly reflect deeper and discuss more topics about health, nutrition, sports and my personal fitness journey as a bikini athlete in the NPC and (hopefully) IFBB bodybuilding leagues.
So here I am starting a new training method to get me stage ready this 2018 spring season, sitting at 138.6lbs; 5’6; 21.2 BMI and 24% body fat. I have 6 months that will fly by to build up, trim down and tweak my physique for the upcoming season. Let’s get to work!